Never Seen That Side of You

It's good to see people in different lights, in varied settings, inside and outside 'their' element.

I got off the indoor soccer court tonight and what I would call an acquaintance said to me, "I've never seen that side of you." I'm not quite sure what that means. Did you think that I was a nice guy? a bad guy? a clumsy guy? a reserved guy? you didn't know I was competitive? that I desire precision? I don't want to read too much into it; it was probably nothing, just a small comment. We make them all the time, to our friends, parents, coworkers. I also know that when a comment is made, whether light-hearted or meant to cut deep, when it is a characterization of personality, I know that I take a minute or two or maybe more to think about what the comment means. I've thought before about the fact that those around me may know me better than I know myself. They see who I am. They see what pitfalls trap me, what things I say that are ridiculous, nerdy, wierd, silly, smart, insightful, blah, blah, blah. I just rattle around in my own head, making excuses for what I'm not doing, or why I'm not doing what. I post as my Facebook profile picture some strange photo of some celebrity that maybe has some resemblance to me because I barely even know what I really look like. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm handsome. I'm better looking with shorter hair. Really? I don't even have to look at myself most of the time.

Back to the comment after the soccer match:
I think it is great to see others in different settings. If you really care about getting to know or knowing the friend, or lover, or family member - go see them do something that you don't usually see. If you usually drink with that person, go build a trail with them. If you usually see that person in a business setting, go coach soccer together. If you ski together, talk politics every once in a while. Don't be surprised if you learn something about the person.

Maybe it's cool to make a comment like "I've never seen that side of you." Sure you are acknowledging the person, but you might also put them off. Better than stating your surprise, just take note. Put it in the back of your mind and realize you just got to know someone more fully - for better or for worse!